Happy Birthday, UneBaby!
by GundamTrinity
Summary: Duo- with a little help- wreaks havoc and creates mischief and headaches for one certain Oz soldier.  Humor/Drabble.  Rated for Une saying a bad word!


Title: Happy Birthday, Une-Baby!

Author: Gundam Trinity (StandingOnTheRooftops)

Disclaimer: Don't own. Enough said.

Dedication: My beloved 'daughters'. LOL... Well, I'm 'madre', so I might as well call them my daughters!

Summary: Duo creates mayhem for one certain Oz soldier!

**Happy Birthday, Une-Baby!**

"Baka," Heero muttered. "I can't believe I'm doing this with you."

"Come on, 'Ro. It'll be fun to see their faces when they find out all of this," Duo said, replacing the last handgun in the weapons cache.

"Why?"

Duo rolled his eyes. "You have no sense of humor, babe. Just wait. Now comes the fun and tricky part." He hefted the duffel bag over his shoulder, grunting under the weight of the guns. "The barracks."

"We're doing everyone?" Heero asked skeptically.

"Yup. From maintenance to Commander."

"Hn," Heero grunted. "I call dibs on Une."

Duo smirked. "As you would say... 'Ryoukai!'"

#

As her alarm went off, Lady Une groaned. Time for another joyful day full of *not* capturing the Gundam pilots. She sat up and swung her legs off the bed... just as the base's alarms went off.

"Damn," she cursed, throwing on a robe and rushing out of the room barefooted, taking time to snatch up her holster with her gun in it.

"Report?" she demanded from a passing ensign.

"Nobody knows, Ma'am. The alarms just started going..."

*Swoosh* "Mwahahahahaheheheh!"

Une had her gun out and firing seconds before half of the other officers around her. And then she realized two things.

First... there was no threat... anymore. It was a pop-up? A cardboard cut-out of Gundam Pilot Zero Two- complete with braid, manic grin, and holding up a 'v' victory sign- that had popped out from behind a computer when a passing ensign had activated a trip wire.

Two... The cardboard cut-out was unharmed. Maybe a little wet, but unharmed. She looked at the gun in her hands, immediately realizing the weight was off, and the color.

Her gun was not neon green.

"Water pistols?" She demanded. "WHAT THE HELL!"

Then, she noticed a third thing... a small tape player hanging around the cut-out's neck, with a yellow sticky note that read 'PUSH PLAY, UNE-BABY'.

Cautiously... after inspecting to make sure it was indeed a tape player and not some kind of elaborate bomb... Une pressed the 'play' button.

"Hiya, Une-baby," came the downright cheerful voice of Zero Two. "We heard from a little bird that... well, okay, we hacked your computer system..." he laughed. "Well, anyways, we learned that today is YOUR BIRTHDAY! So Happy B-day to you! I hope you enjoy my idea of a present!"

Une snorted. She should have expected this from him. He lived to torment her. The only birthday present she wanted was five Gundam pilots handcuffed and in her prison cells. But that wasn't happening anytime soon.

"Someone get me a gun and ready a Leo! I'm going to Commander Treize," she growled.

"Um... that may not be possible," an ensign said, safely stepping out of immediate range.

"WHY?"

"Outside communications are blocked... " the ensign reported. "It's playing 'Happy Birthday To You', ma'am."

"Ugh. Then just get me my Leo and a gun!"

"Um... we can't find any weapons. Erm. All the cache's have been replaced with water guns, Ma'am."

"Then just load up a damn Leo!"

"Ma'am? Maintenance is reporting. Apparently our weapons are in the hangar bay."

"Good." Une groaned. "Wait... what's the catch?"

"They're all pointing at the doors," the ensign replied. "And... they're rigged to fire if anyone opens the door."

Une groaned, and looked at the glaringly neon green squirt gun in her hand. Sometimes she REALLY hated that kid. He was too damn smart for his own good.

"Someone," she hissed, voice low and threatening, "somebody find the security footage for last night. And SOMEBODY figure out how he snuck in here without anyone knowing and did all of this."

Glaring, she lifted the squirt gun, aimed... and fired.

A line of water trickled down the cut-out, from the center of it's forehead. Une was a marksman.

When she saw that BRAT... he was so dead.

~*Owari!*~


End file.
